Live to Tell

I have not yet published this post for many reasons but I feel like I need to release. I don't know how this will come across but just let me say what I need to say. I'm so excited for 2010 because 2009 was just too much for me to handle physically and emotionally. I have realized things about myself that I didn't want to find out and still have a really hard time accepting, but I'm getting there. My biggest goal for 2010 is to not keep everything inside. I feel as if I have to try and be the girl I want to be and I just want to be her, why can't I be her. My heart just aches and I just want to sleep all the time because it doesn't hurt when i sleep. Why do I have to try everyday to accept the person in the mirror and just be enough. I have to battle these feelings everyday that for some reason I won't let anyone in. I used to think I was pretty much an open book but I have much to learn. There is one thing I can be proud of though and that is that I haven't given up...but I want to. I don't want this to come across as if I'm trying to be some profound chicka cuz I'm far from that but it's a little step I needed to take to just start to let it out.


p.s. pics from australia coming soon....smashing success by the way